While going through some of my past writings, gaze was a theme that I came back to often as well as poor communication, and an unrequited need to belong or longing for:
Circa 2007-4/4/08
"The way they stare, the eyes, that glare. I envelope nothing in their mind other than want, desire, or an obstacle to be overridden. I am their quarry and their air encompasses my entire mental capacity. How then can this prey overturn the depredations of others? If I follow suite in their nature, opposed to my own, a void festers in me. This beast that's created never satiates or contents itself. It cannot merely exist within itself, while they are all the more triumphant still, without a similar exhaustive effort. If still they desire me naught, the beast I have fed dishonest, contrary desires and wistful fantasies of friendship de-creates me ."
"I will glean from you what I see as perfected, imperfectness as my own; it is a ring, a throne. To capsize unrequited love-- not as easy as sinking a stone. I shall treat you like myself, that I may divine us both."
"Think in terms of posing. Pose to pose. Gesture. Life will fill in the movement: the experience, it's own weight, intent of character, and defining force. Adopting an attitude is not enough, there must be in it the heart of reconciliation."
"O Land, land... all you are - a grain of sand; all the universe desires to be in the palm of my hand."
"The highest form of knowledge is directed empathy, for it requires us to suspend ourselves and live in another world. It requires profound purpose larger than self-understanding."
"The heaviness of their presence, prejudice, and ignorance."
"The unrelenting eye; seeking without peace in mind."
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